im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
