He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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