You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
