I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Welp...herpes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
