do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
