when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
