just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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