How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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