he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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