so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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