No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ladies don't puke and tell
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize