People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
