take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
