i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
