Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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