My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
