Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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