Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
