Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
