after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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