I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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