Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
