Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he shaved USA in his pubs
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
