it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
