Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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