This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize