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fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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