Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
