The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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