Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's blow job season.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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