When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
