My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
