i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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