im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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