Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
