If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
