don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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