or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
