cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
