I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize