Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
