It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
