Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
