We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I deserve this hangover.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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