I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
