ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
