You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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