Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
