i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
