my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
