oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize