please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
