There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
