new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
