Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
