DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
