Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
