I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You can't special order awesome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
