so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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